If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
