Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
