the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
