Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
