he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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