I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
