do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
