I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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