I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize