we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
