The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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