: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
