Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your cock deserves a montage
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
