you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
