She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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