he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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