dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
