I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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