My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
