He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
