i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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