he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
