Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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