why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
