It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
