I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
