"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Found the puke drawer
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
