Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Actions speak louder than pants.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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