I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
