So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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