There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
