I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
