I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
