Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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