Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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