i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
