I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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