the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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