I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
