I hate your face
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
