i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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