Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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