Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
BRING THE BAGELS
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
