I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
