happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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