Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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