also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
