lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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