i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's just so happy...and so naked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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