East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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