If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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