My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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