fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
