This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
