God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
