She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize