I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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