I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We talked him into tasing himself.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
