I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
this will be a night to untag.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower