Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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  (626): Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting. http://tfl.nu/7nt8
  Replies (30) Good night (761) Bad night (4475)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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  (702): Then she called me a home wrecking whore. (1-702): dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count. http://tfl.nu/bp07
  Replies (15) Good night (5986) Bad night (1165)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.

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  (813): Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator. http://tfl.nu/65uw
  Replies (15) Good night (1401) Bad night (4456)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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  (306): you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue". http://tfl.nu/bqgp
  Replies (6) Good night (2543) Bad night (768)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean

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  (715): He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean http://tfl.nu/eek7
  Replies (12) Good night (1954) Bad night (814)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.

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  (401): Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world. http://tfl.nu/8eb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2771) Bad night (529)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed

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  (610): If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/z6o3
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (975)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.

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  (337): Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday. http://tfl.nu/gphh
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (486)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2229) Bad night (386)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.

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  (304): NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME. http://tfl.nu/yb98
  Replies (10) Good night (717) Bad night (1270)
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  (845): View more from New York

  New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.

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  (845): New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work. http://tfl.nu/j014
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (304)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

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  (516): Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA http://tfl.nu/40i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (419)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you

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  (585): Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you http://tfl.nu/q75w
  Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (703)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.

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  (814): I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible. http://tfl.nu/cmea
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (220)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.

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  (269): It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours. http://tfl.nu/przy
  Replies (0) Good night (266) Bad night (350)

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