Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
