come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever