Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to

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(828): View more from North Carolina

the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

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(435): View more from Utah

this will be a night to untag.

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(313): View more from Michigan

An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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(432): View more from Texas

This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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(805): View more from California

You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?

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(408): View more from California

He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower

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