Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1484) Bad night (521)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here

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  (703): At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here http://tfl.nu/z46s
  Replies (17) Good night (2234) Bad night (667)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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  (403): SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :) http://tfl.nu/xxdx
  Replies (15) Good night (5981) Bad night (715)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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  (336): Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid. http://tfl.nu/ga4m
  Replies (30) Good night (6145) Bad night (998)
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  (585): View more from New York

  well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me

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  (585): well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me http://tfl.nu/wu1p
  Replies (28) Good night (1175) Bad night (3747)
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  (415): View more from California

  i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.

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  (415): i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things. http://tfl.nu/f722
  Replies (1) Good night (2333) Bad night (940)
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  (818): View more from California

  Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place

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  (818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place http://tfl.nu/xlhx
  Replies (60) Good night (16517) Bad night (1137)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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  (212): I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking. http://tfl.nu/4blg
  Replies (21) Good night (2080) Bad night (1030)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (882)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  An old lady WILL get vomited on today.

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  (617): An old lady WILL get vomited on today. http://tfl.nu/4fpr
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (1093)
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  (805): View more from California

  Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?

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  (805): Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered? http://tfl.nu/tgh3
  Replies (6) Good night (533) Bad night (838)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.

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  (337): I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working. http://tfl.nu/wijm
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (395)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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  (480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (272)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think that about sums it up, actually.

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  (715): I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain? (1-715): I think that about sums it up, actually. http://tfl.nu/mxnz
  Replies (10) Good night (1038) Bad night (308)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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  (289): One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes. http://tfl.nu/z7m3
  Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (220)

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