They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
