I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
