On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to calm my uterus...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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