Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
