I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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