You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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