SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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