I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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