I must be too annoying 4 u.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so let's talk penis.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
They are going to name an STD after you.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
