Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
