I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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