It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
